The....."Slasher"!

No, Sorry-- not a new freaky neighborhood addition.

Copfriend earned a new nickname this week when a disastrously drunk driver refused to pull over...well, take that back. He did pull over amidst lights/sirens/drawn weapons, took one look at his surroundings and the barrel of a gun, and took off again at fast & furious pace. Perhaps he simple didn't comprehend. After a crazed jaunt into the country, risking lives and causing old people heart-attacks, he headed back into town whereupon he began obeying all traffic lights and stop signs!
Copfriend took advantage of an octagonal pause and bailed from his car with trusty Benchmade Automatic in hand--quickly slashing 2 back tires, racing to the front to slash another and then with a lightning grab, yanked the culprit from the auto--faceplanting him onto the sidewalk!
Backup (carrying the spike strips) arrived just in time to see the man held down and handcuffed. I guess he'll win a toaster for that!

Sounds like a good addition to youtube!

Trash Bag

Welcome to the "Heavy Metal Trasht Bag" backpack purse that I made just for the Aerosmith concert with a bunch of scraps, sequins, buttons and beads...I've carried it a few appropriate places (late nights) and it seems to be a catchy conversation piece.

I posted it here on the graphics page, because I did use a graphic influence--google/Adobe/printer to get all the band names--ROCK N ROLL!!!

This is why I wanted the colorful beer caps. I did not drink all of them...well...um. some.
More views under trashart blog.
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Solitary Spoons and Enfeebled Forks!

Today was Bail’s Birthday (yesterday their 1st Anniversary!) and she’d told me that they’d been camping—with a bent-tine Fork. It had been bent for a while, a veritable cripple, but could not be relegated to the trashcan yet—Kitchen Utensils are a valuable commodity in a land where prices range to the extreme.

Now we are not talking priceless silver—just an old mismatched Fork that had a few brothers at one time, but some have disappeared--ran away, probably to spear themselves through the foot of a rambling, unsuspicious bear that will desperately need a friendly mouse for prong removal.

I think triplet Forks (one maimed) are all that remain…

What’s so important about Spoons and Forks, you may ask? Why do they rank Capitalization? Bail said Nate had rigged up a shower somewhere in their cabin; they have electricity but no running water. Apparently this is typical of small Alaskan towns. Having been used to the availability of such a simple luxury as water, warm water, ocean water, dish and fish water, lengthy relaxing showers that used gallons upon gallons of water, they have discovered that they can actually heat up a 5 gal bucket of H2O on the stove and Viola!: FINALLY take a warm, but super quick shower! It’s amazing how a small thing like a bucket of water can be appreciated and revered.

They are ‘making do’ with the least amount of items—like perpetual campers. She tells me of the spoon she always carried in her back pocket in Hawaii (not worthy of a capital S)—to dig up ferns and plants, since they had no garden trowel then. (I do this too. But I have a garden trowel. Somewhere.)
Nate had asked where her Spoon was on their wilderness adventure—but Spoon has been deemed too precious an item and must stay in its drawer—Spoon can not run the risk of loss.

Spoon is rare.

Spoon is treasured.

It is an only child.

Why do I find this so endearing and funny?
Sigh...Because my daughter told me that when they eat cereal in the mornings, her and her husband must EACH TAKE TURNS!

Happy Birthday, Honey!

Lovely Flowers

I know these are out of order...but...


I had to post some floral pics that I took a few weeks ago...Nate's mom has the most gorgeous flowers. Here is a large rose from the side of her house--one a digital pic, the other with some Photochopt. If I paint, sometimes I break items down in PhotoShop, then posterize the edges--makes it a little easier to see 'value'... Same way with her blue fairy flowers--they were incredible. I think they are larkspur. The pink lily/pink rose combo is also from her home and the rock barn.
The 33 pink lily bulbs that I ordered.... are pink...and yellow--I dislike the yellow, so the company is going to replace them.
The really frilly pink rose clusters are the antique roses that were dug from grandma's chicken pen, while the pink day lilies are a gift 2 years ago from coffee-drinking Ol' Coach Guy. They have to go to the basement every winter. I am going to do my best to catch up with Sandy's lilies!

Cartoon County

Lounging and drifting off in the warm sun yesterday was really relaxing until I heard a voice ask if they could ‘close the pool cover?’—and it was a voice I didn’t recognize. Startled/groggy; I opened my eyes to the 3 young pool boys, I mean farm hands that were getting ready to load up a semi of grain out by Paula’s swimming pool. Gah. ‘Of course!’ I hid under a towel.

Well, at least it woke me up enough to think about this week’s event here in Cartoon COUNTY.

Oh, where should I begin? The 3 suicides? 1-a male in a wheelchair (probably got the idea from the earlier female in the wheelchair), 2-girl in a cemetery, 3- guy in a rental house. Oops, forgot 4-just an attempt. Wild.

Let’s see—Three buildings in the tiny town of Emmett bombed/burned with a fireworks/gasoline combo. (Emmett was up the road from my house and one of our major party-hearty towns when I was in high school—nothing there but ballfields, a bar or two, a gas station and a post office; heard they lost one of the bars.) Wild.

VinnyLuigiAchmed told how he nearly ran over a man laying on the highway…so did Copfriend’s friend ‘Mz Clean’. She also nearly ran over, um, one of the 'Bell' Brothers. He had been shot in the abdomen. Apparently the two brothers (one sane/one crazy) had gotten into an altercation about cows or some other farm-related beef and decided to beat the holy crap out of each other. Even when shot by a .22 (some say a .357-yeah?), the fight continued. The wounded man grabbed the gun and beat the other with the gun butt , then drove himself (almost) to the hospital. He didn’t quite make it and crawled out of the truck to lay on Tuttlecreek Blvd whereupon many individuals saw the body laying in the road and it was assumed to be a car wreck due to the back window missing (shot out?!) He lived (although some rumors say he died). Wild.

I was thinking of these things and the fact that I had been in contact this week with the county attorney’s office…those poor poor people. We have a county attorney and an assistant attorney and they must deal with an entire slew of crazies everyday. Think of the phone calls and stories they endure on a daily basis. No wonder when momstalker decided this week to get a new attorney, and he wanted to take me to court for a freaking ‘jury trial’, it won’t even be heard until next October. Oh Brother. (Rolling my eyes.)

Wild.

Situations. 1.

As I’ve always adored Eliot’s “Wasteland”, his phrase 'LADY OF SITUATIONS' (others have written that he encompasses ALL women as one in the poem or that the Lady of Situations is conspicuously vocal compared to an ideal Lady of Silences---Oh, the outrage of the words ‘ideal’ and ‘silent’ in the same sentence—I think NOT! But back in the old days….) seems to fit me well (well, minus the 'lady' part!), anyway, I’ve always had numerous people ask “Why do you always seem to meet so many weird people?” Inevitably, I have found myself in countless innocent situations and not always of my own doing.

Take the other morning for instance. At 7:00am, I pull into one of the asphalt/cement parking lots at work a little (a lot) early and discovered 2 bodies lying up against the curb in MY spot. MY SPOT. Creatures of habit don’t like to discover that their ‘system’ has been disrupted. I didn’t like to find 2 people inhabitating where I systematically park, so I used my irritation to propel myself into conversing with these unknown and undead creatures. The second I opened my door, I knew it could be a big mistake…. This town just doesn't have hobos.

So I hid my fear with…..CHEERFUL AGGRESSION.

Yes! Hop right out and step right up. “Hey Guys! Ya doin ok? What’s up? Ya need anything? Where ya from? Ya look tired!” all the while they are stepping backwards and backwards and backwards. (Whew—It doesn’t look like I’ll get robbed or that they have hidden weapons…what’s that in shaved-head-neo-nazi’s hand? Oh, a wilted iris. Well. That can’t hurt!)

I tell them that in just A FEW minutes (I’m a liar) cars will be pulling in all over the place and there really wouldn’t be a place to lie down. I tell them I‘m trying to think of a place they can go… (I ponder like Rodin’s The Thinker) but they are already assuring this sugary-sweet lady that they were leaving. And they eye me up and down….”Uh, I don’t suppose you’d have any, uh, um cigarettes?”

Yes, I’m packing as many cigarettes as you are Tommy-guns-- “Naw…Sorry… Have a good day!”

Naturally I called the cops to report that scraggly-suspicious-gangsta-wannabees were in people’s backyards currently stealing large bouquets of flowers... (and one has to protect the neighborhood youth....)

Serving Tray Upgrade

This simple white serving tray cried out for zebra stripes, so I bought a towel set as motivation and penciled it in yesterday. A tiny brush and 3 coats of black-- I'm pumped over the outcome-- very graphic yet natural. It will be a gift and I might add photos (I photochopt these fuzzy ones in) and varnish for a make-up tray--can't decide...