I have always LOVED this song...newest video version won't post though...which I like better...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
'Words of Wisdom' I've learned through the years:
Do not mix Chlorox, Comet, and ammonia when cleaning a scrungy bathtub.
Do not swat your child on the fanny with a little stick. By the time they grow up, they'll tell everyone it was a two-by-four.
Double-check the door lock when using a public Johnie-on-the-Job.
Don't paint your child's bedroom pink for a surprise, just because YOU like it.
Never think you can taste ALL the types of premixed drinks from a liquor store in one night.
When writing a check at Walmart, hide the front, so whackos behind don't get your phone #.
If you run around the house in just a bra, make sure the front door is locked.
Don't cast your fishing pole while riding in a boat full of people if you haven't had practice.
When removing pantyhose, don't cry out “Oh no! My skin is coming off!” in front of young children.
Don't let your children walk by a street gutter after watching the movie “It”. And it goes without saying not to raspingly utter: “We ALL Float down Here!”
Do not swat your child on the fanny with a little stick. By the time they grow up, they'll tell everyone it was a two-by-four.
Double-check the door lock when using a public Johnie-on-the-Job.
Don't paint your child's bedroom pink for a surprise, just because YOU like it.
Never think you can taste ALL the types of premixed drinks from a liquor store in one night.
When writing a check at Walmart, hide the front, so whackos behind don't get your phone #.
If you run around the house in just a bra, make sure the front door is locked.
Don't cast your fishing pole while riding in a boat full of people if you haven't had practice.
When removing pantyhose, don't cry out “Oh no! My skin is coming off!” in front of young children.
Don't let your children walk by a street gutter after watching the movie “It”. And it goes without saying not to raspingly utter: “We ALL Float down Here!”
Monday, May 5, 2008
The none-too-deep thoughts of a Perceived Beotch.
I was riding in my boyfriend's red firebird my jr year when he looked over at me and said that I needed to smile...I must have shown confusion, because he tried to explain: that if I didn't have a smile, I looked like 'a bitch'. He wasn't being mean or anything...but I do remember being caught off guard and wanting further explanation; he proceeded to tell me that, in fact, lots of people that didn't even KNOW me thought I was a bitch if I didn't have the smile! I think I told him it wasn't physically possible to maintain that position 24/7 or something about frozen muscles, but I plastered a fake smile on my face (actually real—for some reason the whole afternoon became funny!) and then every time he looked over, I'd grin in a big cheezy manner! It became a joke, but I never forgot that statement...
Then about 10 yrs ago, a classmate (RC) told me that a work buddy of his (Dave) thought I was a real bitch. I was totally flabbergasted because I had no idea who Dave was. I must get to the bottom of this! RC was to find out why. And it all boiled down to the simple fact that Dave had waved at me and I didn't wave back. I still thought this was bizarre and it turned out that Dave's daughter was in my class, etc. I still couldn't picture Dave in my mind, nor do I hardly ever see anyone wave when I'm on the road. I just don't pay attention, the way I don't pay attention to what type of vehicle people drive. (Stop Meandering!)
BUT! I keep score at wrestling/basketball games and I had the perfect opportunity to discover just who Dave was since his daughter was on the team. There he was with his wife (whom I DID recognize) on the front row across the gym floor from me. There are only 2 of us at the scorers table....when Dave glanced our way, I grinned broadly and waved the BIGGEST WAVE EVER! I have never seen a person turn so ungodly red. (Nor a wife give a husband such a dirty look!) But it set a tone—and we've all been on friendly terms ever since.
I am so lucky that my town is the friendliest ever, having experienced younger days in a neighboring town known as “Gossip City USA”. Here, nearly everyone speaks, (and not for entertainment/backstabbing pleasure). You can't go for a walk without running into runners, walkers, strollers—everyone has to nod, talk, smile, or offer a sentence fragment or two... When I first moved here, I walked about 2 blocks and met such nice people—it has left a lasting impression. My daughter noticed immediately when she moved from KSU to KU—she suffered loneliness; everyone there was so unfriendly/untalkative. She hated the Lawrence community and their snootish atmosphere.
But back to 'smiles'...Just the act of nodding or smiling has promoted too many strange situations for me during the last couple years. I think I even told my cop friend that maybe I SHOULD pretend to be a real bitch. But I was raised to be polite and sometimes it's just second nature to nod or smile, but for Heaven's sake I really need to learn how to judge strangers first...
s'nuther blog topic....
Then about 10 yrs ago, a classmate (RC) told me that a work buddy of his (Dave) thought I was a real bitch. I was totally flabbergasted because I had no idea who Dave was. I must get to the bottom of this! RC was to find out why. And it all boiled down to the simple fact that Dave had waved at me and I didn't wave back. I still thought this was bizarre and it turned out that Dave's daughter was in my class, etc. I still couldn't picture Dave in my mind, nor do I hardly ever see anyone wave when I'm on the road. I just don't pay attention, the way I don't pay attention to what type of vehicle people drive. (Stop Meandering!)
BUT! I keep score at wrestling/basketball games and I had the perfect opportunity to discover just who Dave was since his daughter was on the team. There he was with his wife (whom I DID recognize) on the front row across the gym floor from me. There are only 2 of us at the scorers table....when Dave glanced our way, I grinned broadly and waved the BIGGEST WAVE EVER! I have never seen a person turn so ungodly red. (Nor a wife give a husband such a dirty look!) But it set a tone—and we've all been on friendly terms ever since.
I am so lucky that my town is the friendliest ever, having experienced younger days in a neighboring town known as “Gossip City USA”. Here, nearly everyone speaks, (and not for entertainment/backstabbing pleasure). You can't go for a walk without running into runners, walkers, strollers—everyone has to nod, talk, smile, or offer a sentence fragment or two... When I first moved here, I walked about 2 blocks and met such nice people—it has left a lasting impression. My daughter noticed immediately when she moved from KSU to KU—she suffered loneliness; everyone there was so unfriendly/untalkative. She hated the Lawrence community and their snootish atmosphere.
But back to 'smiles'...Just the act of nodding or smiling has promoted too many strange situations for me during the last couple years. I think I even told my cop friend that maybe I SHOULD pretend to be a real bitch. But I was raised to be polite and sometimes it's just second nature to nod or smile, but for Heaven's sake I really need to learn how to judge strangers first...
s'nuther blog topic....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
